Screwed.edu
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
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