She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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