I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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