He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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