It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
