Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
