wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Randomize
