This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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