some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
