So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
