Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
