Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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