the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
