hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
