I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm passing your future prison.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
