I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
