My sheets look like a crime scene.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
