i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
