You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
