16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
