these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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