actually, I'm a sock model
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
