batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just threw up on my dentist
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
