yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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