I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
