i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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