we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
