I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
