M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this boner is exhausting
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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