I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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