I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
