Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
