My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
