what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
