I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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