guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
