last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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