I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
