we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
