still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
