This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
