Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
