Sponge bath it is.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
