its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
