you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
