I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
