Can Purell be used as lube?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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