Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
