She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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