I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
