I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
